Friday, May 27, 2005
It's hard for me to explain. I think I want to settle down. I think I've had enough. I need to really get on ahead and move on. I am suppose to anyway.
OK. I've taken a passport size of me in NPCC Uniform, and it's friggin annoying. Couldn't even see the badges displayed on my uniform. Only a pathetic portion of the Total Defence Silver Badge. So much for being nominated for the SPF Badge. Heard it's the most prestigious badge of all. It's going to be an honour if someone gets to wear it. Erm. But to me, it's still just another badge. Doesn't make any difference. Maybe to them who thinks too much in NPCC. Sometimes, I tell myself I am not qualified to be in a higher rank, coz my attitude sux bigg time. I dun think any of my juniors like me that much. How am I suppose to gain respect? This is just not the way to show my true self. I am just not cut out to be a leader. I am a follower till death. Or least that's what I think. I mean... being a lazy bum since those primary school years, I can't imagine myself being a Station Inspector. There's more ppl who's more qualified than me. I guess I am born too lucky until it gives me a troublesome life. Oh I shouldn't say that. After all, a troublesome life, or what one might want to describe his life, always have a blessing in disguise.
I think this is it. My cordless keyboard is giving me probs. It's not working properly. I think I should start considering about changing its battery. The batteries have been since the first time I had this comp.
OK. I thinkI'll try to go sleep rite now. Later I still have to wake up, to complete a portion of my DNT. Lovely.
[.38 at me - Trigger pulled, 45 degree towards me.]
12:41 AM
