Sunday, April 24, 2005
Listening to Jay Chou's Yi Si Tan Bo.
Keep thinking to myself whether the change I made was good
I keep reassuring myself it's good alright
Nevertheless I have people who keep on coming to me to ask me why?
Why the change? What's wrong?
And they start assuming...
Every actions have their consequences, every actions have their reasons to it
Agree no?
I wish I was more like my brother. Happy go lucky. Never talk about personal stuff. Everything about him is so straight to the point. Nothing is ever so personal. Everything in his life is just as it is supposed to be. Yeah he retained in sec 3 coz of darn english bad score. However he manage to regain his conscience and pulled up his socks higher. I envy him yet I admire him. He is so everything perfect. Near to perfect that is. Why do I have to go through such an emotional phase in life, more emotional than what my brother is facing? Coz I am a girl? Coz I am made of the weaker sex? That is so not fair. Oh nothing in life is fair by the way. I agree to that.
Maybe It's just me. I am like this. Therefore I am facing difficulties on my own will. On my own actions. Maybe that's the reason I change a lot. A lot of times. I keep on trying to change myself. But I will eventually come back to square one. and that is quite irritating. Definitely utterly irritating. Maybe I should try to stop sighing, tho I dun show much of that, but I am sighing deep inside. Tho i keep telling ppl to think positive, i dun do that. Tho I tell ppl to always smile, I myself am not smiling that frequently. Coz at times I dun think there's any purpose in smiling at all at a certain point of time. Sometimes I hate myself too. But when I see or hear ppl hating themselves, I'll frown and feel like slapping that person and tell him or her off not to eva hate themselves. Coz u live for a purpose. There's not a single reason u should hate urself. Argh. I dunno why I am so expressive tonight. I just need to get out of this bedsheetz and get back to where I belong. Maybe today's Sunday. Maybe the best day of expressing things. I just dunno anymore.
Oh well... let's just go thru life as it is shall we...
=stop fretting=
10:42 PM
